Posts Tagged ‘need confidence’

How lions can help you make your life better

20/01/2010

If self doubt and fear keeping you from doing the things you want to do in life,

If you have dreams, goals and expectations for yourself,

If you sometimes get frustrated and mad at yourself because you are not doing anything to make these things happen…

You are not alone, and the good news is that there is something you can do about it.

Remember when you were a kid and and someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up?

A fire fighter, a movie star, Indiana Jones, a Lego man… yes, and I bet you didn’t flinch for a second or thought is this actually going to be possible at all, or how am I going to do this, or I am just not good enough to be a Lego man!

You believed anything is possible.

Your mind was working effectively: You want, you imagine, you go get it.

Many of my clients tell me they hate the way they look, that they feel fat, unhealthy, tired and depressed

When I ask them what’s stopping them from looking and feeling the way they want, the answer is usually: I don’t know, or I don’t think I can do it, or what if I fail?

Human self doubt and fear fascinates me. I say human because sometimes I can’t help comparing us to the animal kingdom.

Let me explain… African lions must hunt daily to survive. Actually, this seems to be the lionesses’ task and often they’ll hunt together. They’ll go somewhere where they know their prey is likely to hang out. Usually close to water.

How do I know this? Thanks to David, Attenborough!

The lionesses see their prey, devise a strategy, take action. They chase the prey until they make the kill, or the animal manages to get away.

If they succeed, great! If the prey  gets away, what do they do?

Do they spend hours on end feeling bad about themselves for having failed?

Do they decide there is no point in trying to hunt again in case they fail?

Do they give up hunting altogether as it seems they are no good at it cos they failed before?

No, they don’t. They look for the next opportunity.

Once I gave a client this example and he said: how can you compare, if lions stop hunting they’ll die and just get extinct.

To which I replied: Well, in my view, if you are not hunting for the things you want in your life, then you are not really living anyway.

If you spend your life wishing things were different, while doing nothing to change your situation…

If all you do is feel bad about the fact you are not doing anything, doubting your ability to do what you were born to do, fearing failure…

If you are not at least trying to live the life you want… are you really alive?

A good friend once shyly confided in me that they could not ride a bike without stabilisers.

I know a lot of people who can’t but they are all under ten years of age. My friend is twenty two.

I asked how come he couldn’t ride a bike without stabilisers. I knew my friend had been badly bullied as a child and I assumed maybe that had something to do with it. He said not at all.

I asked if it his parents hadn’t taught him. He said they had certainly tried.

Then I got really curious and asked: What happened then?

He replied: I guess I one day I just told myself I couldn’t do it… and so, I didn’t do it.

There’s no way a lion would ever give up that easily…

What is the main difference between you and that person who is living the life you would love to live, doing the things you want to do? Is it to do with talent, knowledge, experience, social status, money…?

Is it possible that they also doubt their ability sometimes, that they make mistakes, that they have ups and downs?

I believe author Susan Jeffers hit the nail in the head when she wrote: Feel the fear and do it anyway.

You see, someone who is doing the things you would like to do, and living the kind of life you would like to live,  may be fearful sometimes too, and go for it anyway!

Live your life like a lion,


Anna




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A Youth Injection without the needle or the poison

13/01/2010

The beauty and anti aging industries are worth  billions of euro.

Every year women and more and more men all over the world spend ludicrous amounts of money in a quest to look beautiful, sexy and young.

Fake lashes, fake hair, fair nails, fake breasts, thinified bodies, tightened and masked faces…

But does all of this really make people look more beautiful, sexier and younger?

And if so, at what cost?

It’s a known fact that many ingredients used in beauty, anti aging products, and make up are carcinogenic.

These chemicals are used by many of your favourite brands.

If you think lathering or injecting these products on your face and body is going to make you younger, think again.

If anything, they are making you age faster, and may potentially cause disease.

Add this to lack of sleep, stress, alcohol, smoking, dehydration, bad nutrition,  overeating, and a sedentary lifestyle… and you have the best aging cocktail in the world.

I am convinced that the less you mess with your body the better.

I got the best beauty tips from my gramma and my mum.

When I got married last August, a lot of my guests were trying to do the maths.

“Anna how come your mum is so young? She must’ve had you when she was very young” they said.

Many thought she was in her mid forties. She is in her mid sixties. And she looks more beautiful than ever.

I can count the amount of times she’s worn make up in her whole life with the fingers in my two hands. She’s never had a facial, a manicure, a pedicure, or any other beauty treatment.

Her beauty secret?

She washes her face every morning. She eats a mediterranean diet. She exercises every day. She relaxes with yoga. She sleeps like a log.

I do exactly the same, and a lot of people don’t believe it when they find out I am six years older than my husband.

The only products I use are completely natural and most of them I make in my own kitchen.

But what I think makes a huge difference is the weekly youth inductions I subject myself to.

I use nlp and hypnosis to induce myself into a state of deep relaxation that allows me to reprogram my mind to bring out the attributes of beauty and youthfulness.

At the end of a twenty-minute session, I wake up refreshed and invigorated. It usually feels like the best nap you’ve ever had.

I have done inductions like this with clients, and they tell me that afterwards, they look in the mirror and they can see and feel the difference straight away.

Remember when you were a child, and you were fresh, dynamic, full of energy, flexible, strong, fast, powerful, playful, bold, exuded positive energy and a boundless imagination…?

Youth and beauty are about so much more than what people can see on the surface. It’s about what people can feel from you.

You can be beautiful and young again, quickly, and with no harmful side effects.

All it takes is twenty minutes and a pillow!

Anna


Young and beautiful with NLP



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The one thing you need to do to quit smoking

11/01/2010

Singer Jamelia struck a cord last week when, at a TV program, she talked about quitting smoking. She said that to her it was really simple, and that “if you don’t want to do something, don’t do it”.

In order to smoke people have to think  about it, think of  a shop where they sell tobacco, go there, buy it, find a place where they can smoke it, open it, take it, hold it light it, suck it, taste it, inhale it, swallow it, find a place to put it off, put it off…

It takes a lot of effort, time and money to smoke.

To quit, all you have to you is… NOTHING.

Getting in shape, for example, requires a lot of effort and preparation.

To quit smoking, all you have to do is absolutely nothing. None of the above.

How do you do this?

Well, decisions define who you are. You make decisions every moment of your life, so, you define yourself every single moment.

The trick is in asking yourself the right questions.

Are you interested in having the quality of your life be better?

Some of my clients compare cigarettes to a good friend. But, would a good friend kill you? Would a good friend torture you for years so you die a slow painful death?

Some tell me they smoke because they are bored, stressed out, because they want to fit in, because they think it will keep them slim…

Others give me the excuse of a night out. But, does that mean every one else who doesn’t smoke stay home on a Saturday night?

And, if your best friend beat someone on a Saturday night out and said “well, I was drunk so… I couldn’t help it”, would you accept it as an excuse?

You might be thinking, well, Anna , you can’t compare, it is not the same thing, yada yada…

It is only when you have quit making excuses for yourself, and You’ve made the decision to quit smoking that you’ll start to think differently about it.

In fact, it is so easy to quit, it takes my clients just one session.

See, we all have choices. You can choose to spend your future in a hospital bed, spend your money in treatments, procedures, medecins, pain relief, an early tombstone…

Or, you can choose to quit now, and live the future you really want to live.

Anna




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Shopping for after Christmas sales? The best buy ever starts with Y…

26/12/2009

We got lots of useful beliefs, and tons of inspiration and motivation!

Too late, too old, not ready yet, not clever enough, too dear, too hard… what is your excuse for not setting out to get what you want in the new year?

Your ability to turn excuses into more useful beliefs will determine your success in 2010.

When you start to think more usefully, things will start to change for you.

When you think about the goals you want to achieve, you will feel differently about them. They will simply seem more doable.

Whatever it is that you want, whether you want a more successful career, better relationships, more money, love, a healthier and fitter body

You can have it when you get yourself in the right mindset, identify the skills you need to make it happen, and take consistent and focused action.

How can you do this? Well, here how you can get started…

Take a couple of minutes to write down all the negative things you usually tell yourself that have been keeping you from taking action in a particular area. Then turn this into more useful  beliefs.

For example: Getting a new job

Negative beliefs Useful  beliefs
– I am not good enough at public speaking

–  I am not a good sales person

–  I am not qualified enough for the job

–  I am not confident enough for the interview

– I can become better at public speaking by…

–  I can become a better sales person by…

– I can be more qualified for the job by…

– I can be more confident at the interview by…

The endings you choose for your “useful beliefs” statements, will give you an idea of the  skills you need to get better at.

Your objectives will seem more real and achievable once you have identified what  it is that you need to improve.

This is why the best investment you will make this year is in improving Yourself; getting the necessary skills  for you to achieve your goals more quickly and effortlessly.

Nothing will ever be as rewarding, long-lasting and good value for money. Talk about bargains!

One of my clients  was made redundant from her job this year and came to me for help.

We discussed a number of ideas, all of which she turned down. She said she was too old to start over. She is in her early sixties.

So we googled away, and this is a shortened list of what we found out:

  • Verdi composed his Ave Maria at age 85.
  • Harlan Sanders started Kentucky Fried Chicken at 65.
  • Ronald Reagan didn’t get into politics until he was 55.
  • Laura Ingalls Wilder (author of Little House on the Prairie) published her first book in her 60s.
  • Rodney Dangerfield didn’t start doing comedy until he was 45.
  • Cezanne’s most highly prized paintings were done in his 60s.
  • Alfred Hitchcock’s best films, including Vertigo and Psycho, were done in his late 50s and early 60s.

Not only was she shocked, but she was also deeply inspired.

After this, we worked together on turning her excuses into reasons why she wanted to start over doing something she loved.

Then we identified the skills she needed to acquire in order to do this, and we put together an action plan that worked for her.

She took action straight away, and to this day she emails me telling me how she feels happier and more accomplished than ever.

See, when it comes to personal accomplishment, as George Washington once said, ninety-nine per cent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.

So, remember, if you have things you want to achieve in the new year, quit making excuses and avail of the best special offer ever: The opportunity to improve yourself and the quality of your life.

Anna



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Inspirational person of the month – December 2009

07/12/2009

Daniel Holfeld  is a photographer practicing in fashion, beauty, advertising and art based photography (www.danielholfeld.com). Photography is his first passion and after that comes yoga, which he has practised since he was 16.

A few months ago he started practicing Bikram yoga, a 90 minute cardiovascular work out of 26 postures done in a studio heated to 40.5°C.

For the first time the European Yoga Championships were being held in Dublin last month and Daniel decided to go forward and compete. He got placed and will continue on to represent Ireland in the Yoga World Cup on the 13th February in LA.

A: Daniel, why did you decide to take part in this competition in the first place?

D: At first I was quite shy about competing. I had never heard of a yoga competition before! But I slowly began to change my mind when I saw the other Irish competitors training and pushing themselves to reach their goals in time for the competition. So I signed up and joined the training. Also I thought, “why not!”. I have practiced since I was 16, so it was time to take on a challenge and see just how far I could go with it. Also I wanted to represent the guys, because I think people tend to think of yoga as a girls sport!

A: How do you fit training for a competition like this around your working life?
D: It wasn’t easy. In the run up to the competition I was practising every day after work in the evenings and then doing extra advanced classes on the weekends. So, on a Friday evening and Sunday I would be doing about 5 hours of yoga. It took up a lot of my time, but it was rewarding and great to see the results in my body, using different muscles and seeing a deeper practise just encouraged me to keep going no matter how much it ate into my free time. I think you’ll find the time to do anything you love and where you can see the results!

A: How do you discipline yourself to train when you’ve had a bad day, for example?
D: The hardest thing to do with any training is to start the session. So, if I’ve had a bad day I always say to myself “just start” and the rest will take care of itself. And it does, within the first 10 mins you are having a great session. Often the times when you feel the worst you end up have the best training. In order to keep up the regular discipline my body reminds me, because you feel so good with regular training and with anything good, you don’t want it to stop. Also, the group morale in the studio is great, we encourage each other a lot, which really helps.

A: What motivates you to keep going?
D: I’m motivated by setting new goals for myself. With yoga you can always learn new things about your body and how it reacts to more training. The results you get show just how malleable the body is and how much it can actually handle. For example, whenever I think I can’t go any further I always try, even if it means stretching a few more inches, then you see that you can do it, so the next time you try again. Also, I remind myself of how good I will feel after the
training, which is great motivation.

A: What inspires you?
D: This competition was a huge inspiration, setting myself this goal as something to work towards. The current two world champions came over and held classes and did demos. Seeing Courtney Mace move was definitely inspiring. In fact I will be going to NY to practise with her before the competition in LA. Never thought my holiday would consist of training but it’s really given me something to aim towards and the opportunity to train alongside a world champ is too good to miss!

A: What is the biggest challenge you have overcome, and how?
D: A few years ago I fell skiing, I went over some ice and my ski didn’t come off. Basically my ski went one way and my body went the other way! I tore my Anterior cruciate ligament. The challenge here was being disabled. At the time I was doing daily ashtanga practice so being bed bound when I got back was difficult for me. But I did the physio and lots of yoga and now its as though I’ve never had anything wrong with my knees. It hasn’t limited me in any way, largely because I stuck to a good physio routine and combined it with my yoga practice.

Inspirational

Every month, I will be interviewing an inspirational person. It could be a friend, a client or it could be you! If you know of anyone who qualifies and would like to inspire others, contact me at anna@delite.ie

Thanks,

Anna

How to make decisions

10/11/2009

Decisions

Decisions...

Decisions, decisions… some people embrace the process of making decisions, while others avoid it at all costs.

Some people seem to seamlessly and confidently make decisions in every area of their lives. Others drive themselves to oblivion trying to make the right choice.

The fear of making the wrong decision can drive some people into a state of  limbo, whereby things are put on hold for the unforeseeable future, or forever.

It’s like pressing the pause button of the movie of your life. Pausing can be useful sometimes, so long as you  remember to press play again soon!

If you are one of those people who thinks no decisions means no consequences, then let me tell you, you are wrong!

The consequences of a decisionless life are often far worse. I have coached clients whose self-esteem and confidence was shattered as a result of this.

Making decisions can be an empowering and very rewarding process when you know how to make it work for you.  So, how can you make  it work for you? Well, we usually make decisions based on:

– Impulse: Like, for example,  when you spend your weekly food budget on a new piece of clothing that you don’t even need. And, as a woman, I have totally been there! 🙂

– Past experiences: We tend to compare things, people and events to similar past experiences. But remember, similar doesn’t mean the same. And your past does not have to equal your future either!

– Future predictions: Yes, we like to think of ourselves as fortune tellers sometimes. But the truth is we are not.  Not me anyway! However, we often make badly constructed predictions that defy the laws of logic.

Sometimes it is important to follow our intuition. And it is just as important to weigh the pros and cons.

When faced with decisions, especially potentially life altering ones, allow yourself to take some time to write down the pros and cons. If you are not happy with the amount of cons you come up with, then ask yourself, how can you turn some or all of the cons into pros? and what do you have to do in order to do this?

By answering these questions you have started to think more usefully.

Getting advice from a trusted friend or expert can help too.  But ultimately, it is up to you to realize that uncertainty is part of life. When you allow yourself to embrace the unknown now, you are actually making life more interesting and exciting.

Sometimes we make great decisions, and other times we make crappy decisions. And that is ok. It is up to us to learn from our mistakes and keep on going, taking chances in life.

Has something truly unexpected and amazing happened to you as a result of a decision you made?

Anna 🙂

Need confidence? 3 simple things that can help you be more confident fast

06/11/2009

Just 3 things?

Yes, just 3 things. I mean, there are lots of things you can do to become more confident fast, and I am telling you, when you do these 3 simple things regularly from now on, I can guarantee you will be surprised at how much more confident you are pretty much straight away.

1 – Talk yourself up

Always talk about yourself in a positive manner. When I was young, I used to put myself down all the time. You know, the usual, I am not pretty enough, I am not slim enough, I am not good enough… I have always had a sarcastic sense of humour and used it to say negative things about myself, as a joke, but not really… you know?

My mum used to give out to me every time I put myself down even if I was “joking”. She said to be careful about the things I said because whether I was aware of it or not, it definitely had an effect on my mind, and my physical body too. At first I didn’t know what she was going on about, but later on in life, all this started to make a lot of sense.

I mean, would you let someone else put you down and say horrible things to you? No way, right? So why would you do this to yourself?

When you stop putting yourself down and start talking yourself up regularly, even if at the beginning it feels like you are forcing it a little, keep it up. You’ll notice how you start to think of yourself in a more positive way and you  feel much better about yourself too.

2 – Treat yourself well

So simple but so many people don’t do this often enough. Think about the person you love the most in this world. Think about how well you treat them and the things you would do for them. Now, are you doing this for yourself?

If you want others to value you, appreciate you and treat you well, you have to value yourself, appreciate yourself and treat yourself well first.

What things do you absolute love doing? What makes you feel really good?

Whether it is treating yourself to a long bath once a week, watching a great movie at the cinema, reading your favourite book, or going for a walk in nature…treat yourself often, just cos you’re worth it, and amaze yourself at how much more confident you become.

3 – Do more of what you are good at

The more you do the things you know you are good at, the better you feel. In order to do this it is useful to identify the things you have a natural talent for. For example, what are the things you usually get complimented on?

Make a list and display it somewhere you can  see it regularly. Remember that people don’t just compliment you for the sake of it. They usually mean it!

Everyday a lot of us do things we don’t necessarily enjoy or want to do, but we feel we have to.

I am not asking you to give up all these tasks that need to get done. What I am saying is, when you spend time doing things that you enjoy and have a natural ability for, you get to have fun.

When you are having fun you can feel relaxed and at ease and comfortable with yourself. And confidence is all about being comfortable in your own skin.

Do these 3 things and let me know how much more confident you are as a result!

Anna