Archive for the ‘Confidence’ Category

How to make decisions

10/11/2009

Decisions

Decisions...

Decisions, decisions… some people embrace the process of making decisions, while others avoid it at all costs.

Some people seem to seamlessly and confidently make decisions in every area of their lives. Others drive themselves to oblivion trying to make the right choice.

The fear of making the wrong decision can drive some people into a state of  limbo, whereby things are put on hold for the unforeseeable future, or forever.

It’s like pressing the pause button of the movie of your life. Pausing can be useful sometimes, so long as you  remember to press play again soon!

If you are one of those people who thinks no decisions means no consequences, then let me tell you, you are wrong!

The consequences of a decisionless life are often far worse. I have coached clients whose self-esteem and confidence was shattered as a result of this.

Making decisions can be an empowering and very rewarding process when you know how to make it work for you.  So, how can you make  it work for you? Well, we usually make decisions based on:

– Impulse: Like, for example,  when you spend your weekly food budget on a new piece of clothing that you don’t even need. And, as a woman, I have totally been there! 🙂

– Past experiences: We tend to compare things, people and events to similar past experiences. But remember, similar doesn’t mean the same. And your past does not have to equal your future either!

– Future predictions: Yes, we like to think of ourselves as fortune tellers sometimes. But the truth is we are not.  Not me anyway! However, we often make badly constructed predictions that defy the laws of logic.

Sometimes it is important to follow our intuition. And it is just as important to weigh the pros and cons.

When faced with decisions, especially potentially life altering ones, allow yourself to take some time to write down the pros and cons. If you are not happy with the amount of cons you come up with, then ask yourself, how can you turn some or all of the cons into pros? and what do you have to do in order to do this?

By answering these questions you have started to think more usefully.

Getting advice from a trusted friend or expert can help too.  But ultimately, it is up to you to realize that uncertainty is part of life. When you allow yourself to embrace the unknown now, you are actually making life more interesting and exciting.

Sometimes we make great decisions, and other times we make crappy decisions. And that is ok. It is up to us to learn from our mistakes and keep on going, taking chances in life.

Has something truly unexpected and amazing happened to you as a result of a decision you made?

Anna 🙂

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Need confidence? 3 simple things that can help you be more confident fast

06/11/2009

Just 3 things?

Yes, just 3 things. I mean, there are lots of things you can do to become more confident fast, and I am telling you, when you do these 3 simple things regularly from now on, I can guarantee you will be surprised at how much more confident you are pretty much straight away.

1 – Talk yourself up

Always talk about yourself in a positive manner. When I was young, I used to put myself down all the time. You know, the usual, I am not pretty enough, I am not slim enough, I am not good enough… I have always had a sarcastic sense of humour and used it to say negative things about myself, as a joke, but not really… you know?

My mum used to give out to me every time I put myself down even if I was “joking”. She said to be careful about the things I said because whether I was aware of it or not, it definitely had an effect on my mind, and my physical body too. At first I didn’t know what she was going on about, but later on in life, all this started to make a lot of sense.

I mean, would you let someone else put you down and say horrible things to you? No way, right? So why would you do this to yourself?

When you stop putting yourself down and start talking yourself up regularly, even if at the beginning it feels like you are forcing it a little, keep it up. You’ll notice how you start to think of yourself in a more positive way and you  feel much better about yourself too.

2 – Treat yourself well

So simple but so many people don’t do this often enough. Think about the person you love the most in this world. Think about how well you treat them and the things you would do for them. Now, are you doing this for yourself?

If you want others to value you, appreciate you and treat you well, you have to value yourself, appreciate yourself and treat yourself well first.

What things do you absolute love doing? What makes you feel really good?

Whether it is treating yourself to a long bath once a week, watching a great movie at the cinema, reading your favourite book, or going for a walk in nature…treat yourself often, just cos you’re worth it, and amaze yourself at how much more confident you become.

3 – Do more of what you are good at

The more you do the things you know you are good at, the better you feel. In order to do this it is useful to identify the things you have a natural talent for. For example, what are the things you usually get complimented on?

Make a list and display it somewhere you can  see it regularly. Remember that people don’t just compliment you for the sake of it. They usually mean it!

Everyday a lot of us do things we don’t necessarily enjoy or want to do, but we feel we have to.

I am not asking you to give up all these tasks that need to get done. What I am saying is, when you spend time doing things that you enjoy and have a natural ability for, you get to have fun.

When you are having fun you can feel relaxed and at ease and comfortable with yourself. And confidence is all about being comfortable in your own skin.

Do these 3 things and let me know how much more confident you are as a result!

Anna